Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Panty Line Poem

For Jocelyn's Bachelorette party, her sister Kelsey found this cute poem. We each were assigned a pair of panties to buy. We hung them from this banner that Kelsey made. 

Of course, Erin had to re-write the poem, as she has a wonderful way with words! 

I have a secret I can’t hide
About our JoJoBear
She is obsessed with panties,
The many kinds her hot buns wear

So for our little panty queen
We made a panty line
And hopefully most of these underpants
Will escape unscathed from our Vegas crimes

Jocelyn, these undies are to last you
All throughout your life
And Seany will be pleased to say
He has a sexy wife!

So listen up to hear about
Your lifelong panty plan
These underwear, we have no doubt
Will last your whole life span
But hopefully not, because that would mean you’d wear them for about 70 more years
But hey, there are worst things than sexy grandma-aged ladies to fear!

The first are for your wedding day
Of course they are pure white
We know Seany will shout, “YEAH GUUUURL”
When you both stumble into bed that night

The next are for your honeymoon
They’re sexy and all lace
We hope you’ll leave your hotel room
’Cause Jamaica is such a gorgeous place!
Minus the drugs and criminals that lurk outside the resort
You probably shouldn’t wear panties out there,
Or else you’ll face some time in court

On Valentine’s you’ll wear this pair
Before you hit the bed
‘Cause Cupid’s arrow in the air
Shoots tushies that are red
You know who else has rosey buns?
The monkeys in the zoo.
We don’t think Sean won’t be reminded of apes
With these sexy panties on you!

After a year has passed you’ll face
Anniversary number one
With these you’ll surely have a blast
’Cause leopard’s so much fun!

Then when the time is right for you
And don’t be saying, “Maybe”
You’ll wear your little pink or blue
In honor of your baby

And when your years of wedding bliss
Become the big 2-5
Don’t worry – you’ll just slip this on
And you’ll be the hottest MILF alive!!!

When finally you’re old and gray
With these you can’t go wrong
’Cuz sorry Jocelyn but at that age
You just can’t wear a thong

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