5th Grade Funnies

In the first 3 hours of being back at school, I realized that I love my job! These kids are so funny.  Many of you have seen the AT&T basketball commercials, and think they are hilarious. I think they are my life! Here is a list of what I have heard today (its only 10:20!)

• I didn't take a shower today, because my cat pooped in it.
• That's called the ole' spit taste (spits in the trash can)
• My mom just drank wine and played poker all of spring break.
• I went to Manhattan. I didn't like it there. They were all KKKK-SSTTAATTEE and I'm like all KKK UUUU! (Rock Chalk!)
• Kid- Miss Cremer, Were you a scrapper in high school? Me- A what? Kid- A scrapper, like did you fight a lot?
• I'm going to throw up inside my stomach.
• My name means I hate books and I love video games.
• A girl showed us a picture of her kissing a seal over break. The kids replied to her, "Don't get a boyfriend like that! You don't want ugly seal babies!"
• After recess-- I'm having a seizure! Me- If you are having trouble breathing, it may be asthma. Kid 2- Do you smoke? Kid 1- I don't smoke weed and that stuff. My grandma smokes and I have had 2nd hand smoke since I was 5. Kid 2- Do they have a bottle with a big cigarette in it?